Birthday
by Starr Bryte
Summary: AnimeIowa4hoursleep0foodInsanity... Cocreated by my friend Fogdragon. Nobodies don't have birthdays... But that doesn't stop Axel from getting a preasent.


**Dear Readers,**

**3:00 Sunday morning in a hotel on the last day of AnimeIowa. I'm with Everfire and Fogdragon. AJ, Lone-chan and Irvine are either watching anime or sleeping. Everfire conked out an hour before. Fogdragon and I are talking Kingdom Hearts Pairings. Just eight hours before we had seen the cutest sight. A Blindfolded Riku and a Luxord cuddling in the Dealer's room. Kawaii. So we were talking about it and soon we were talking about pairings. Pairings that made sense and pairings that made no sense. One pairing that we agreed was cute was Roxas and Axel. Then we started talking about birthdays because it had been Fogdragon's birthday. She had been getting bishi's to sign her pants. Then we started talking about Reno and Rude pairing. And the really cute bomb scene in Advent Children... I don't know how it came up but we started talking about what would happen if Axel had a birthday. Then it lead up to how Axel would get said birthday. Then we started talking about birthday presents which lead us to actually act out this fic. The only consequences of that was that now I randomly start talking like Drunk!Axel. Which is really fun to do. This is now my pathetic attempts at writing fluff... I'm sorry if it sucks because it was much easier to understand when I was stumbling around yelling about my 'Birfday present'. I love that word. Birfday. Aw... And just because it was this song that started the whole 'Drunk Axel moment'... 'I've Got a Jar of DIRT! I've got a jar of Di-irt!' I Love Axel... And this fic was FUN to write. I love nonsense. Nonsense is my best friend and way better than common sense...**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOGDRAGON! I LOVE YOU! YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT IS... NOT DONE YET, BUT DON"T WORRY... YOU WILL GET ONE SOONER OR LATER... **

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts. This also includes Jack Sparrow... 'Cause I don't own him either...**

**Love to all of my friends.  
Love to all of my reviewers.  
Love to AnimeIowa. The Psychotic Aerith sends her love and is still playing with her rainbow slinky of doom.**

**Stay safe  
Stay healthy  
Sincerely,**

**Starr**

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Tortuga was like a sanctuary in the Pirate world. A place where there were only two rules:

'Whatever happens in Tortuga, stays in Tortuga' and

'You tell the Commodore, you get your ass handed to you on a stick.'

Tortuga was grungy, dirty, crazy, wild, lawless, psychotic and more than one person had either been hurt or killed during a brawl. But it was all in good fun and if you were stupid enough to get your ass killed during a brawl the money in your pocket would pay for a round of the same for everybody to honor your stupid ass.

That night they had been honoring the stupid ass of one 'Slack-jawed' Sam. Somehow he had managed to get himself smothered in between a prostitute's breasts. The pirates were drinking and talking about all the different ways they would like to leave the world. It was agreed that it was a toss up of either getting smothered between a woman's breasts or between a woman's thighs.

To Axel, Tortuga was a place where he could watch. He watched the way the Pirate's interacted with each other. He watched the way they drank and fought and laughed and sang. It was relaxing, watching the simple life of a pirate and for a time he could forget the complicated politics of the Organization and the complicated alliances within it. He grinned lazily at the barkeep and waggled his glass at her.

"Gimme 'nother..." He slurred. The barkeep grinned held out her hand.

"Gimme coin first..." She said. Axel rolled his eyes and dug into the pocket of his long black coat. He rolled his eyes again when he realized he was out. He smiled innocently at the barkeep.

"Gimme drink first..."

"No..."

"Why no-ot?" He whined mockingly.

"Yeah, 'Keep? Have a heart, luv..." Another voice whined with him as a long, tan arm snaked around he shoulder, "Tis the man's birthday after all..."

"It is?" The barkeep asked incredulously.

"It is?" Axel echoed, looking up at the pirate incredulously. Brown black eyes twinkled mischievously out of a tanned face.

"Tis." He confirmed dramatically before stumbling back and wailing dramatically, "The poor lad hasn't 'ad a birt'day par'y in so long 'e's forgo'en 'e's evar 'ad one!" The crowed yelled encouragement as the pirate slapped down a handful of coins. Axel hid a smirk, the coins actually belonged to the pirate a few seats down who was now patting himself down and glaring.

"A round o' the same fo' eve'yone! Let's CELEBRATE! RUM'S ON ME!" The pirate yelled and the bar became ten times more psychotic than it was. For once it was Axel's turn to be pulled into the chaos instead of being the one to create it. And the man dragging him into it was a name he already knew and had no qualms following. At least for now. Jack Sparrow was an interesting man after all. And he had rum.

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"...And then they made me their chief..." Jack slurred conspiratorially, downing another bottle. Axel knew his limits. He also knew that he had surpassed those said limits by only a... Well... LARGE margin... But it felt great. And all because Jack Sparrow had decided it was his birthday... And... speaking of...

"Whaa' iss a birfday anyway..?" Axel slurred, his head propped up on on hand.

"Wassat? You don' know wha' a birthday is?" Jack gasped, "Woy itsh the day you celebrate the day of yo'r birth! Eve'y one 'as a birthday..."

"I don't..." Axel muttered sullenly. Nobodies didn't have birthdays because Nobodies weren't born. Jack leaned over and peered seriously into Axel's eyes a moment before grinning wildly.

"Well, you do now..." He said.

"Says who?" Axel asked.

"Says ME!" Jack said, laboriously standing and lifting his glass, "Captain JACK SPARROW! CAPTIAN OF THE BLACK PEARL!"

"HUZZAH!" Roared the thoroughly inebriated pirates. Axel thought for a moment before raising his glass.

"Says you!" He replied as he downed what ended up being the stereotypical 'One-glass-too-many' that in turn turned into 'Five-glasses-too-many' which turned into... You get the idea.

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Roxas was glad he had his hood up at that moment because the instant Axel stumbled through the door he couldn't help the instinctive eye roll. Axel had been to Tortuga. Again.

"'Appy birfdaay tooo meeee..." Axel sang stumbling to a chair and slumping down, "'Appy birfdaay toooo meeee... 'Appy biiirrrfffdaay tooo meeeee-eeeeee... 'Appy birfdaay tooo meeeeee..."

"What are you on about now..." Roxas sighed, flipping back his hood. Axel smiled hazily at him.

"Roooxaaaasssss..." He sang, "It's my biirrrfffdaaayyy tooodaaaay..." Roxas sighed again.

"Nobodies don't have birthdays... And you're drunk..."

"'Course I am..." Axel said, "'Cause it's my birfday."

"Says who?"

"Says Cap'ain Jack Sparrow, King of the Black Pearlses..."

"Really..." Roxas crossed his arms, "What else did he say about this supposed birthday?" Axel gave him a smile that instantly made Roxas nervous. That smile was never a good sign.

"Tha' I'm supposed to get me a birfday present..." He slurred.

"Well, I don't have one." Roxas answered. Axel's smile turned into a grin.

"Sure you do.." He said, standing up unsteadily, "Come 'ere..."

"W-what are you doing?" Roxas stuttered, backing up into the wall. Axel simply smiled and began to, slowly unzip Roxas' coat.

"I'm unwrappin' my birfday present..."

"What! Uh-uh, no way... ACK! Don't touch me there!"

"Hold STI-ILLL..." Axel whined, "Quit squirmin', I wanna unwrap my birfday preeaasseeent..."

"Geeze! You're drunk!"

"Yah? 'Cause it's my birfdaaay..." There was a pause as the coat finally fell from Roxas' shoulders to show the simple black tank top and leather pants underneath. Axel gave him a lazy grin before running a finger down Roxas' chest.

"Oooo..." He said leaning forward, "My birfday present's preeeetttyyy..." Roxas sighed and rolled his eyes again.

"Happy birthday..."


End file.
